Thursday, September 2, 2010

From Russia With Love

Are you feeling like Nigel-party-for-one, because you're without any weekend plans?

Never fear, the party people are heading to Russia.

Alexei Kudrin, Russia's finance minister, is making it his countrymen's patriotic duty to light up and get boozy.



"People should understand: Those who drink, those who smoke are doing more to help the state," As the revenue from increased taxes on alcohol and cigarettes will be spent on funding social programs and services.

But what about the exponential rise in hospital beds required with this peer pressured patriotic booze up?

According to Time's John Cloud

[A] new paper in the journal Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research suggests that -- for reasons that aren't entirely clear -- abstaining from alcohol does actually tend to increase one's risk of dying even when you exclude former drinkers. The most shocking part? Abstainers' mortality rates are higher than those of heavy drinkers.

This still doesn't account for the inevitable increase in the hospital beds required to cope with the influx of smokers gagging for breath.

Sounds like Alexei got the party started prior to announcing this policy...“Ah that’s just drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk.” ~Barney Gumbal


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