I spend about forty hours a week with people aged eighty plus. The topics of conversation range from bung hips, that silly Charlie Sheen, gammy knees to how bizarre Ellen DeGeneres’s dancing is.
But the quirky diversity of our conversations has frizzled out the past few weeks. We've become focused (perhaps fixated) on the upcoming Royal Wedding.
I was never much of a royal watcher. In fact I didn’t realise how many publications are dedicated to just that – watching Royals. But I’ve been swept up in the hysteria. We sigh and moan over the possible colour pallet of the wedding day, debate whether the couple will kiss on the balcony, reminiscent about William’s once luscious head of hair and ponder if any corgies will be present.
The ladies cross their knitting needles and click their tongues in exasperation, that the event is still two weeks away.
Then I found 'Knit Your own Royal Wedding', the knitting group could easily whip up a wedding in a week. Then once all the hoopla is over we can still get the Queen to dance Ellen style
I hung my weary head in my hands, my limbs legthergic, each movement slow and calculated. I contemplated the wasted day that lay ahead.
The green facepaint, the flowing curls pinned to one side, the pageboy playing footy with the ring cushion, the bridesmaid dress malfunctioning from vigorous dancing, the leggy wedding jump shot, the somewhat crude table telegrams and catcalls in the church.
Then i cracked up.
Best hangover cure ever.
If i were a classier broad i would try to convince myself that my befuddled look this morning was as Alyssa Monks describes her artistic intentions:
"I prefer to keep the facial expressions ambiguous, like the moments between clear feelings or thoughts. In this way, the conversation is ongoing; the facial expression can change and suggest rather than impose."
While Monks is of the school of photorealism she distances herself from that label
"Reality isn't' slick or smooth or without texture...so I don't paint it that way. Reality is full of misunderstandings and mistakes and unpredictability and inconsistencies and ugliness as well as beauty - so is paint."
Which i think is a lovely way to sum up my s'wonderful weekend.
